How To Flirt With A Girl?

Flirting is the language that we all use to convey sexual interest in someone we find attractive. It can include verbal and nonverbal forms of communication and can be subtle – playful and friendly and a little bit suggestive or downright obvious – seductive and sexual.

How It Works

We mostly use flirting techniques to take a connection beyond the safe friendship zone. Once flirting has been introduced in our communication it is up to the other person to reciprocate or reject the interest.

In a simplified example this is how it usually works:

Boy meets girl (or a variation on this). Boy likes girl and starts talking to her. Boy likes girl more and more and wants to let her know. Boy uses subtle flirting to show girl he’s interested and wants to see where this might go. Girl flirts back. They make plans.

Flirting is a seduction technique that compliments body language. It can be used on its own – when communicating online or via text message – or as a verbal accompaniment to visual body language.

The Right And Wrong Way To Flirt

Trying to get closer to someone you’re interested in requires careful consideration. Unless you want to blow your chances before you’ve really got started try to plan your strategy before diving straight in. Although this may not be a military mission having some plan of action will help you identify her signals and your progress.


• Be yourself. Putting on an act never works because you have stay in character. Let your natural charm and confidence lead the way.

• Seize the opportunity. When you feel the moment is right add a flirtatious comment and wait for a response.

• Take it slow and steady. Even if she flirts straight back play it cool. This works in your favour.


• Don’t introduce flirtatious banter until you have sussed the flow of the conversation. It’s easy to misread the situation if you’re excited and running ahead of yourself.

• Don’t be smutty, crude or borderline abusive. Flirt in a courteous way that shows you have manners.

• Don’t let your confidence get too inflated. If the flirty banter gets into a rhythm enjoy the moment. Don’t be pretentious or rush into taking things to the next level too quickly.

Now that you have some idea of how flirting should work here’s how to get into your groove…

Pay Attention

When you’re talking to a girl how she feels about you is not always obvious. Some girls use flirtatious comments in the wrong context, and in general conversation, and this can totally throw a guy off his game. Talking to a girl will enable you to quickly establish if she likes you enough to keep talking. Remember to smile and use eye contact as this builds rapport and opens up the conversation possibilities.

As the conversation progresses pay attention to her body language. Is she playing with her hair and smiling, does she tilt her head to expose her neck, are her arms crossed in front of her body? Reading and translating the subtle meanings of her body language will help you figure out if its safe to flirt. By the way, if her arms are crossed she is on the defensive so good luck trying to break down that barrier!

Flirting is a communicative art form and when done correctly effortlessly transports a girl meets boy scenario to a ‘let’s see where this goes’ connection.

Perfect Primers

The best way to flirt is to apply a technique that comes naturally to you. This means that you simply convey your interest by being yourself. Don’t rely on fancy words or silly and cheesy phrases to show someone that you’re interested in getting to know them.

Compliment her on her beautiful smile. Be sincere and genuine. Never say anything that you don’t mean or feel. Pay her a compliment that makes her feel special, but say it in a way that is natural and relaxed. If you get this right she will reply straight back with a compliment to match. This is your green light for flirting.

You want to arouse the girl’s interest so that she start’s thinking about how much fun she will have getting to know you. This means that you need to let her see who you really are – the lovable, charming and friendly funny guy.

Use witty banter to get her laughing. Something playful with a subtle hint of naughtiness is perfect. This can be a comment that is directed at her or inspired by your surroundings. Save double entendres (the French for suggestive double meanings) for later on once you’ve established the flirting flow. Don’t try too hard to be funny. Just be yourself.

When two people are relaxed in each other’s company flirting happens naturally. Keep her laughing and introduce some playful touching. A gentle tap or slap on the arm, as she makes a funny remark about you, will make her laugh even more and she’ll smile because she’ll know what your intentions are.

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