Dating as a Challenge
For some people, dating is a challenge. It is a conquest, a crusade and a sport. As you are neither a competitor or a prize, don’t allow yourself to be come a victim to such players. Dating is an affair of the heart and should be treated as such. It is fun to date but it is also serious business. However, when we date, it is true that we do like a challenge, we like to get the guy, we like to get the gal. It makes us feel good about ourselves to date someone nice and so it would be unfair not to talk about challenge in dating.
We often like to go for someone just out of reach, that is a challenge. As humans with ambition, we like to reach and strive upwards. Therefore, dating someone we view as slightly out of our league (for a million reasons) is all the more attractive. This could be someone wealthy, or in a good job, or someone who is simply not usually our ‘type’.
It is interesting how we are able to adapt ourselves to this level of interest in people we may not usually consider, when we are dating. Generally we will stick to people in our own social strata as we are more comfortable here and we will date those people who we generally have done in the past. After all, it is where we feel subconsciously that we belong.
Yet every now and again a challenge presents itself. You see a guy who you really fancy, someone you could really go for but someone who may not normally go for a girl (or guy) like you. As a guy you see a girl who would not take a second glance at you. The challenge is set. Challenges are healthy because they take us out of our comfort zone and allow us to grow as human beings. They also give us confidence, especially when we succeed in our challenge.
Who doesn’t want to date a supermodel or a male superstar? Its a natural part of fantasy to strive for what we perceive as perfection. Reality may be different but it doesn’t prevent us from taking on challenges occasionally. However it is fair to say, that in reality we won’t date the superstars and even if we did, we would probably not enjoy it half so much anyway.
When I was younger I had always wanted to date a rich girl and I was lucky to meet a great girl called Nicola who had very wealthy parents. It was not that I was very poor but I was attracted to and interested in her lifestyle and everything about her lifestyle. Not for possessions, but just because her ways of doing things were different to my own.
The first weekend I was invited to her parents house in London and soon discovered that her world was out of my league. We went to a party and I was expected to cover the cost of champagne. Even the smallest things were way out of my price range and soon I discovered that however much I liked this girl I really didn’t fit in and couldn’t afford her world unfortunately. There were her ways of doing things that I knew nothing about. Forms of behavior and social etiquette that I was new to and I found every function stressful. In the end we parted amicably and I wished her the best. The point of the story being that to date a girl like her was challenge, but once I got there, she was a date too difficult to sustain.
For girls the challenge is in dating a cool, good-looking bad-boy. He could be the ski instructor or the life guard or the surf instructor. No woman has managed to capture this man’s heart so she thinks she is the one to do it. He is enigmatic, he is trouble with a capital T, and he is oh so Mr. Popular. All the girls love him because he is a maverick. So why do the girls love him, because he doesn’t care, because he is full of confidence, because he doesn’t need a woman. This raises the interests levels of certain women. They rise to the challenge and aim to be the one who will tame him.
Why is it that you are ALWAYS more popular when you have a partner? It is of course because you are attractive by design. You have a partner therefore the people around you see you as being more attractive and successful in relationships. After all, if they have you and you respect them ,then there must be something about you after all. The challenge is set, they want you also, because they want to challenge themselves to see if they can get you. They may not want you but they certainly want to know that they could have had you! Its a real irony, but you are at your most desirable when attached and at your most wanted. The moment you are single, people want to know why.
Insecurity in some promotes challenge. By having conquests and sleeping with many partners one gets a false sense of attractiveness, self confidence and being wanted. The fact is, its just sex, nothing more. When a guy is young her will challenge himself to get certain girls into bed. He will aim to seek confidence and self understanding through self-set conquests. It is mainly a sign of immaturity, but it affects people of all adult ages.
Challenges in dating will always be with us, they are a natural part of our psyche in us wanting to obtain something and someone we feel is out of our reach. When dating make sure that you are not someone else’s challenge and be a little cautious. If you yourself are seeking a dating challenge then at least have the respect to date the person properly once they finally say yes to your charms.