To Kiss and be Kissed – Get your Kisses Right for Dating
Kissing is not such a clear-cut subject as you may think. It depends where you are sitting when reading this article. For many countries in Asia for example kissing is a private affair that almost never happens in public. I remember a Filipino guy I worked with in Singapore who was completely amazed to the point of hysteria that two men were seen kissing in public on the London tube. He simply couldn’t deal with that concept at all. I have lived in Asia for a while and it was very rare the whole time I was there to meet indigenous people who kissed openly. Indeed in Thailand it was far more common to rub noses than to ever touch lips.
Kissing is a sexual act to some degree and some societies simply do not view kissing as appropriate behavior in public. Even in the UK , overt kissing in public is often frowned upon by older members of the public, even if as a youngster its perfectly natural. Then again on a summer evening in Rome, or a city park in Paris, I would expect to see couples of every age group kissing passionately as the most natural thing in the world. It all depends on where you are you see.
In western society kissing is a pretty normal mainstream pastime and rather lovely at that. The problem occurs when we start dating and are not sure when we should kiss and to what extent. The crux appears to be that we want our first kiss with someone we like to be prefect. If we begin dating and we don’t kiss its unsettling, but if we are French Kissing (openmouthed) on day 1 the romance can dissolve too quickly. So it is a matter of waiting.
There is no definite here but it is pretty much accepted that on a first date, if it goes well then you should offer or accept a small kiss on the cheek and nothing more. This will occur when you go your separate ways and says that a basic level of attraction has been built up. The desire may be to kiss the lips off your date but hold back if you can. Anticipation is the mother of desire.
Of course by your second date, if you are both displaying all the signs of attraction then it won’t take long before you are kissing more passionately but again it depends on the situation, culture and person you are with. Find the right place and wait as long as you cam I was dating a girl in Hong Kong and waited two weeks , seeing her 4 times a week, before we kissed properly. Believe me the kiss was worth the wait because it happened at the top of the mountain above Hong Kong called The Peak set against the lightening of an electric storm. An electric kiss it surely was and totally memorable for all the right reasons.
One thing that amazes me even now is how many people can’t kiss. What I mean by that is that there are some people out there for who kissing means the oral Olympics. Having your tonsils pinned against the back of your throat by a tongue hardened like a javelin is not pleasant. The other issue seems to be people who purse their lips and make their mouth very hard when kissing. Kissing is a soft, delicate and sensual pastime savored slowly.
Follow the lips of your partner and take things slowly and gently, allowing lips to brush and move so much so that they hardly touch. Kissing should make you shiver. Concentrate on the delicate corners of the mouth which are extremely sensitive and generally let the force guide you. As many woman will tell a man, kissing can be undertaken for hours and many women prefer kissing to anything else. It can be extremely sensual and sexual so don’t ignore the technique.
I remember a date once telling me that she could never kiss passionately until she was sure the man was in love with her. She felt that ‘proper’ kissing was so explicit that it was inextricably linked to sex. If she began to kiss properly she wanted to go to bed. This tell us that kissing on dates means different things to different people. Don’t expect too much at first, a kiss to some people means a great deal more to some than it may to you.
Sometimes dates will be shy and require encouragement to kiss so once you have had a few dates do take the initiative if you feel your date is being a little too shy and requires cajoling. The problem with that though is that many men are convinced they have misread the signals and dare not try and kiss in case they are wrong. This in turn can lead to a man appearing as lacking in confidence which can be critically bad. Take it from me guys, if you are on your third or fourth date and you haven’t kissed but you are getting on great you may be better taking some small initiative.
Guys should also remember that kissing does not automatically lead to any other physical contact for some time, so be patient and take things slowly.
- Make sure you know how to kiss
- Ensure your hygiene is spot on
- Carry some gum if you need to freshen up
- Floss regularly
- Remember to kiss gently and sensitively
- Wait until you are ready to kiss and choose your moment
- Allow the passion of kissing to build up slowly
- Remember that a first kiss should be memorable
- take the initiative if your partner is shy
- Learn the key body signals that demonstrate conclusively that your date wants to be kissed
- Remember that good kissing can be as sensual as sex
- Appreciate that some people do not liked to be kissed in public