Opening Lines and Chat-Up Lines
The phrase “dating approach” means walking up to someone you have never met or don’t presume to know and then speaking to them to introduce yourself romantically. In other words – chat-up lines. The opening words you may utter will speak volumes and volumes and volumes.
In less than 10 seconds you will either have set yourself up for life, have a definite date, or be going home alone – again. Yes it that simple, or it can be. Psychologists tell us that people make their mind up within seconds and I think most of us who are truthful will agree that we know pretty much instantly if we are attracted to someone or not.
If that is the case why is speaking important at all? Well, although we may like the look of someone, these looks are confirmed and heavily underlined by their approach to us, their words, their voice and even their accent. Therefore, by initiating communication we form judgements very quickly. Another article in this series speaks of the attraction of confidence. Well this most certainly plays a part.
The more confidence you have in your dating approach, the more likely your opening lines, whatever you say, maybe have some effect. However, let us be honest. Making an initial approach can be nerve wracking and spine tingling for many. Dry mouth, palpitations, a sudden stutter from nowhere, a blank mind, no idea what to say. Yes its all part of the dating game, but it is also all part of the problem.
Many of us will have hear the theory that many attractive men and women are single and never approach because the assumption is that they are so attractive they must be attached. In which case no one talks to them!
This in some cases is true but more often that not, whatever our level of looks, we like chatting to new people and it is more likely that most of us lack confidence or simply the verbal dexterity off the cuff to simply talk entertainingly to strangers. Yes, that is right we believe we should entertain when we begin our opening gambit.
It is often said that women are attracted to men who are witty and amusing. How often in personal ads do we see the request “must have a good sense of humor”. A good comedic talent will always assist in the opening approach.
However most women in a small survey I undertook agree that the regular dating approach by a man works far better than trying to be this years entertainer. It is not what you say, but how you deliver it that really matters and even more amazingly, for many, opening lines do work.
For some people an opening line is very stressful, like public speaking. They come across as aggressive and foolish simply because their anxiety levels are sky high. Under such stress, they simply clam up or are unable to communicate as they can for 99% of the rest of the time. This is where practice and confidence levels can help. The more people you speak to and the more sociable you become, the better you will be. However a word of warning – do not mix opening lines and lots of alcohol!
Rude and crude opening lines do not work and never will but a simple request to buy a drink for someone will get a response in 5 out of ten people. This is probably because people prefer the direct and open handed approach. To break the ice, one clearly needs to use the tried and tested methods and not seek the realm of leading edge comedy.
Women use lines as much as men you may be surprised to hear and thinking back, I agree. A woman’s approach may be direct and honest but a line is a line. I think we can agree though, that should a woman decide to use a carefully selected opening line, she is likely to have more success than a man in a similar situation.
To this end it may be useful looking at the good and bad opening lines below to give you some ideas. You may think they are all bad, but at least some are amusing.
The Best Opening Lines:
- Can I buy you a drink?
- I have lost my phone number, can I have yours?
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven ?
- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put you and I together
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again
The Worst Opening Lines
- Get your coat, you’ve pulled
- How do you like your eggs? Fertilized?
- Do you sleep on your front? Do you mind if I do?
- Is that a mirror in your pocket? Its just that I can see myself in your pants!
- Are your legs hurting because you have been running through my mind all night