Choosing the Right Person from the Dating Scene
Okay, so you date people hoping that one of these days you will come across the right person — the one you will make the greatest romantic connection with. But does it ever feel like you are going nowhere? Feel like you are lost and doomed in this whole dating business? Stop feeling sorry for yourself!
The reality of your situation is that luck has nothing to do with it. If you are like many people, you are probably dating blindfolded, without even realizing that you are doing so. If you feel unsuccessful and dissatisfied with your dating patterns, then it is time for you to take a few steps back to see where things went wrong for you.
Think you have been doing everything right? Think again! If you look back, you might be surprised to learn that you got so caught up in just the whole dating experience that you neglected your true desires. What are you really looking for in a lover? What are your needs? What qualities are important for a person to have? What qualities are you willing to compromise with and accept?
Getting back in touch with what you are really looking for will help prevent you from staying in the dating scene forever. It is essential that you observe your actions and decisions, making sure that you do not continue to date certain people in the name of dating. If you find that you are not sharing the connection you crave with a person, then you must discontinue dating that person.
Sure, you might feel bad for hurting that person’s feelings, but what you must remember is that there is nothing too personal or emotional between the two of you anyway, so break it off. This is where so many get stuck, mistaking casual trial dates with a personal and emotional relationship. This may sound too businesslike for your taste, but this is the way it goes in the real world of dating. If you spend your time trying to spare people hurt or disappointment, then you have been doing it all wrong. This does not mean that you have to be harsh and rude, but it does mean that you have to make finding the right person a high priority.
This brings us to the next essential point in dating. While it is normal that you fix yourself up to make a great impression on your date, it is not the most important thing that you should focus on. In fact, so many dating singles out there worry so much about what their date will think, that they totally forgot the purpose of the date — to find out whether or not they will find the connection they are seeking. Shift your focus. Observe everything about your potential mate. Do you like their appearance?
Does their personality appeal to you? Do you feel that you are making a good connection? It is what you think that is important here, because you are the one looking for the right person. Leave what they think, up to them!
The fear of being single forever can cloud your good judgment, causing you to continue seeing a person who you know you are not entirely satisfied with. You will do this because you will try to convince yourself that maybe you have been too picky. You might think this person is better than nobody.
Stop lying to yourself! You do not have to get stuck with someone you are not entirely happy with, nor do you have to be single forever. Being honest and up front from the beginning is what will get you where you want to be. Do not worry that you may scare off someone by telling him or her exactly what expectations you have. Look at this way: If they get scared that quickly, then it’s a sign that they are not looking for the same thing as you are. This saves you time so you can move on to dating someone else.
As long as you get real with yourself, stop making excuses, know what your really want, stick to it and make it clear to the people that you date, then you will be safe from too many mixed messages, misunderstandings and frustrations. When you treat your goal of meeting the right person seriously and important, then you will stay motivated to find him or her. And when you do, you will finally be able to begin the kind of relationship that you have always longed for, needed and deserve.