Once you have had a successful first date and have made contact again to establish a second meeting it is amazing how many people start questioning the situation and worrying unnecessarily. When people arrange a second date confidence levels should be high because you have already established a mutual attraction and interest level so don’t forget that he/she has already indicated they like you a lot. The first date may have been short and sweet but the desire is high on both sides and so it is now that you need to develop the situation into something more concrete.
1. If you are going to blow the situation it is now. You got over the first major hurdle but now she or he will be paying particular attention to seek confirmation about certain assumptions they have already made. If you presented a false image first time round you will get caught out now. If you told lies, you will have to be extremely careful about what you say.
2. If we establish that you weren’t creating a facade on the first date and were being yourself then the second date is to establish more of the same but on a grander scale with more detail. This is the perfect opportunity to move your dating away from the dinner table or bar and into a weekend day out.
3. It is still too early to offer dinner at your own apartment or theirs but you need more time now to get to know each other and the phone won’t assist you. You need human contact and interaction with your love-interest. I therefore recommend you establish if possible a Saturday or Sunday lunchtime to meet so that you can combine a coffee or light lunch with a walk in the park or on the beach, maybe throw a ball about or go to a sporting occasion.
4. A second date is too early for theater or movies because you must communicate a lot at this stage. Therefore you need a place to walk and talk and start to feel comfortable in each others’ company. Book shops, browsing, a market, antique stalls, a sport, a club, a shopping trip. The options are endless. But as you both feel you need to seek out some further intimacy a lunchtime meeting can extend throughout the afternoon and into evening, depending on how you feel about one another.
4. A weekend afternoon lends itself to ebbs and flows, you can talk openly at a cafe table and then walk and feel how it is to walk next to your date. There may be the opportunity to hold hands or create spontaneous entertainment or even a small first kiss. The afternoon will lend itself to distractions for the first time with the things around you which will inject interesting equations into your communication dynamic.
5. Once again keep in mind an end time for this date. Allow things to flow but don’t leave things so open ended that you appear hanging around as if you have nothing better to do. You have both just compromised your special off-duty time to be with each other but if you have plans for the evening then once again you appear busy and interesting. This is always essential to successful dating.
6. Once again, although your conversation on this second date will have more substance and credence to it, you should still shy away from discussing anything about ex relationships and sex. The enigma factor remains and whilst the desire and interest factor on both sides may be very high, too much too soon can easily spoil everything.
7. It is on this occasion that you will establish once and for all whether you both wish to continue establishing a basic relationship. Though we won’t use that word at this stage as it is too early, it is in fact what is happening. You may tempt each other in a restaurant by feeding each other food, which is a sign of showing you can provide for each other. You may playfully tickle and touch and do the many subtle things that demonstrate attraction, but it is a situation that builds slowly. Therefore I recommend that you try and keep relaxed.
8. It is likely that you will be feeling a little uneasy because of your high interest levels and sense of attraction. You will feel an urgency to feel something more definite or concrete but this will not yet establish itself and therefore you must simply think of your second date as a dawning of your knowledge of each other and a time for fun. It is a moment to be savored.
9. If you haven’t told your date you are attracted to them then you must at least tell them that you are having a great time. Using words is important but do NOT go over the top. The love word comes a long time later whatever you may be feeling. Yes love at first sight does happen, but you do not need to say it. However you should compliment your date and allow them some feeling of security by making them feel comfortable if possible. And they should do the same for you.
10. The second date is about fulfilling the promises established in the first date. It is about setting out future possibilities by getting to know each other and having fun. There is nothing more to add at this time because from now on you will do more of the same and continue to do so until your dating starts to become a relationship.
11. On the other hand, the second date also allows you to uncover some truths about your date you may have missed on the first date. It is a time for building the basics and therefore you will be able to establish if there is a way forward or whether this is the time to stop. If you don’t wish to carry things on then there is nothing lost, you simply owe it to your date to be honest one way or another.