When it comes to relationships there are rules that govern what is acceptable and unacceptable within the confines of the particular type of relationship or intimate connection. A committed relationship involves two people who are devoted to a shared experience. When it comes to a no-strings-attached connection the rules of casual dating should be carefully considered.
What is casual dating?
Casual dating is an experience that connects individuals who want to have some adult fun time but without the responsibility and restrictions that are part of a normal committed relationship. Casual dating can involve spending time with one person, without any form of commitment, or multiple dating partners, simultaneously or over a period of time.
People who choose to date casually often do so for a number of reasons. They may not want to get involved in a committed relationship because their previous long-term relationship experience wasn’t particularly happy. They may not know what they want from a relationship or have any idea who their ideal partner might be. They simply want to experience the excitement of no-strings-attached intimacy without any emotional risk.
Is casual dating right for you?
Casual dating is ideal for you if:
• You are recently divorced or separated and not in any hurry to get back into a committed long-term relationship.
• You are young and inexperienced and want an opportunity to figure out want you want from a relationship.
• You want to meet a variety of dates so that you can define what you are looking for in a potential partner.
• You want some adult fun with someone whilst you wait for someone better to come along.
• Casual dating is your best option if you are selfish and unable to emotionally commit to any partner. Having casual encounters means that you do not leave a trail of broken hearts behind you.
What are the rules of casual dating?
As with any type of intimate connection there are rules to casual dating. Although you do not have any responsibility or commitment to contend with casual dating has a unique set of rules that ensure you keep things casual.
The appeal of casual dating, for many people, is the uncomplicated connection that involves not getting emotionally attached to another person. Most casual dating relationships are one-off no-strings-attached encounters so you do not have to see the other person again. If you are spending time with the same person, but have opted for a casual relationship, your detachment means that you can come and go as you please and see other people.
Although casual dating involves doing whatever you like, seeing other people and having no responsibility or commitment, often one person will control all aspects of when you hook up. In this type of situation the dominant person will choose when and how often to see their casual date. When you get involved in a casual dating relationship it is important to figure out who has the control.
• Unique Ground Rules
The rules of casual dating make it clear that each encounter or connection sets its own set of rules. Because there is no responsibility or commitment to one person each person can create new rules with anyone they hook up with. What is important though is checking that you both have the same intention and outcome in mind. A casual connection doesn’t work if you hook up with someone who is looking for true love.
Casual dating is:
• An opportunity to be non-exclusive and date other people at the same time.
• A flexible no-strings-attached arrangement that suits both parties.
• A connection that gives you the freedom to walk away whenever you like.
• Invisible Boundaries
Although the rules of casual dating involve flexibility and freedom there are often invisible boundaries that are not clearly defined or admitted. Invisible boundaries may include talking about feelings, emotions and love; wanting to see someone regularly; and expectations that the connection might develop into a proper relationship.
How to avoid complications:
When you are casual dating it is important to remember the reason why you are casual dating in the first place. If you are casual dating and are starting to form an emotional attachment give yourself a reality check before your feelings overwhelm you. As harsh as it may sound, casual daters are generally filling in time with a random person until someone better comes along.
If you have feelings for the person you casually hook up with from time to time you have two options to consider. You can be open about your feelings and expectations and clearly state your intention. You may find that your casual date has other ideas in mind and pulls away from you. Or they are seemingly happy to continue seeing you. If this is the case be cautious. A casual dater is unlikely to consider you to be their ideal partner – hence why your connection is casual.
Your second option is to start spending time with a new casual dating partner.